...I play hockey.
Yup, I'm sick. This morning when I got up, I could hear shit in my lungs when I coughed. I think now it's cleared up or something, but still, it's a problem.
And it's not one I will be sharing with my parents. They'll only try to stop me from playing, and hockey is one of the most important things to me right now. It's like a lifeline, something I can concentrate on. I'm determined to improve and later have a life that involves playing.
Besides, I love my team so much. They are awesome! I actually feel like I have friends when I'm playing. They talk to me even when they don't have to. We show up for clinics and hang out and joke around in the locker room.
So I can't lose them, not even for a little bit. I mean, the season has already started! It isn't fair. I still don't know if I'll even be able to come back next year.
It doesn't matter if I'm sick. I'll play.
And I've got practice tonight XD ttyl
10.27.2009
10.22.2009
Triumphant Failure
Well, that was...something.
You see, my friends and I became alarmed when we learned that almost an entire class had failed the computer science midterm which we were due to take on Thursday (today). One of my other friends and I went over to Odd Becca and Sarah's house, thinking we'd study the chapters very hard for a few hours and go home.
Then we realized just how much work we had to do.
It turned into a full-scale cram operation. We took turns reading aloud from each chapter... well, technically only one of the four chapters. We knew the first one well enough and the second one took about 6 hours. So I made flash cards for chapter 3 and then we just studied chapter 4 using the online resources and the notes from our friend who took a similar test. I have drank 4 diet Dr Peppers in the last 24 hours...actually in the last 18 hours. And I think I did okay! A lot of people I've heard have been saying that they think they failed. But there were only a few hard questions, and about half of them I could have gotten right if I'd studied during lunch...just a leetle harder.
I wonder what my fellow study buddies are saying about the test... ttyl, folks.
You see, my friends and I became alarmed when we learned that almost an entire class had failed the computer science midterm which we were due to take on Thursday (today). One of my other friends and I went over to Odd Becca and Sarah's house, thinking we'd study the chapters very hard for a few hours and go home.
Then we realized just how much work we had to do.
It turned into a full-scale cram operation. We took turns reading aloud from each chapter... well, technically only one of the four chapters. We knew the first one well enough and the second one took about 6 hours. So I made flash cards for chapter 3 and then we just studied chapter 4 using the online resources and the notes from our friend who took a similar test. I have drank 4 diet Dr Peppers in the last 24 hours...actually in the last 18 hours. And I think I did okay! A lot of people I've heard have been saying that they think they failed. But there were only a few hard questions, and about half of them I could have gotten right if I'd studied during lunch...just a leetle harder.
I wonder what my fellow study buddies are saying about the test... ttyl, folks.
10.20.2009
Old News
Gawsh, I'm bored.
We are in journalism. We didn't have an anime club meeting today. I had to print out a whole bunch of shit in the last few days, including my bio hw and three journalism assignments, as well as my sources for both journalism and speech class.
But the good part is, we're starting to go from a class to a real paper production, complete with online version that will be up soon. I won't really be a part of the online version, although I'm hoping to be any or all of these:
>Copy Editor, who is in charge of making sure the other people's articles have correct spelling and grammar and are consistent with AP style
>Social Committee member, who keeps track of birthdays, special events, and fund raisers, and plans parties and ways to earn money
>Opinion Columnist, who turns in one opinion column per week for the online version and the best will be in the print version
What do you think? I can totally be at least one of those things. I just turned in the reasons why I should get each job. I think I'll find out by the end of the period. Until then, the only thing I have to do is finish my homework from other classes (:P), decide which of the news articles I am going to pursue (the recent PTO meeting or the upcoming Fine Arts Day?), or blog. Given the choice, well....I'll blog. :D
In the meantime, I gotta help plan for this Halloween party that me and my friends are incorporating, as well as work on my other classwork. And so the never-ending shitstorm takes over once again.
My brain is becoming fuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy from lackzzzzzz of zzzzzzzzzzzzleeeep.........O.O just now I thought I smelled one of those pretzels you see while walking through the mall or on the streets of New York City. How weird!! But it served my purpose and woke me up...*yawn*... As I was saying, temporarily.
I've got this little art pencil, solid graphite, leaning up on my laptop. My arm warmers are barely touching the bruise on my elbow. My binder and my reporter's notebook are lying on the desk along with a piece of crumpled paper. The classroom is filled with easy chatter as the students finish up their work and begin packing up to leave in a few minutes. They're discussing upcoming and recent tests and the articles they're doing for school and the things they're doing after school and the convention and the disgusting lunch and the name of the paper and the bell just rang.
10.16.2009
A Summary of the Little Things
So now I'm going to tell you about what's going on in every aspect of my life except one. Can you guess what that one is? It's really not hard. It's the one thing I hate and love to talk about.
Oh, we're playing a game in Bio. Brb to tell you about what's up!
Well it turns out I didn't get a chance to come back to this until after lunch and journalism, in advisory, where I am now. The bio game lasted until the bell and then I had to take a math test and then I was eating lunch and retrieving cake and other stuff, and then I had to go to journalism where we had a fun and constructive class all period and so now I'm sitting in advisory all by myself and I have nothing to do except homework.
So my slap shot still sucks like crap, but my stickhandling is tons better and I'm very good at skating. I've actually been getting a lot of compliments on it. My wrist shot is slowly improving after a quick jump, which is beginning to be disheartening. I'm a pretty good hitter, too.
As far as homework, it's not real fun but I'm starting to get the hang of just doing it. I failed a couple of binder challenges, but it's okay because I'll make up for them.
My art is okay. I haven't drawn for a while but I haven't gotten too much worse than I used to be so I think I'm still on track.
My mom and I keep forgetting to do the guitar lessons so I'm just going to end up teaching myself one of these days. I'm getting a lot better at making creative jewelry, and I think my photography skills will improve if I can get my hands on a camera for journalism. Then again, that might not be likely because the last time I tried that, I ended up forgetting and she gave it to someone else. But for the Fine Arts Day at our local college, I think I've got a pretty good chance because I'm one of the few people from the journalism class who are actually going to that.
I'm super bored. The teacher in charge of advisory, Ms. S, is super mean today and usually. She's a pretty good history teacher and almost makes it seem funny, but it's messed up because outside of class she's pretty much just mean. Then again, it's how I would probably end up if I ever became a teacher.
And now she took away the music I had on my laptop. I can hear Dawson laughing and telling someone "Ssh in a very quiet whisper. I wish I could see Prince Caspian right now, but I think he's somewhere behind me. He's on the other side of the teacher, so even if he did want to look at me casually he wouldn't be able to...Oh hurray he walked past and happened to look in my direction while smiling! I can pretend he was smiling at me!
I might as well just talk about him anyway because the only people who read this blog already know about him. He's cute in a major way. He's got long curly dark hair and...and I'm just going to start talking about how good-looking he is, so never mind. That's not the only reason I like him. He's also kind of friendly, but he's shy. He's a little bit of a mystery because he hangs out with people from both the social, more popular guy group, and other kids who barely talk. And we're pretty sure that his family is sort of rich, but he doesn't go on the computer hardly at all except for this laptop. Doesn't have an email, doesn't have a myspace or a blog. Poor kid. Technology is awesome.
I can't think of much else to say...I'm lamenting about kicking him in the shin just because he stood on my computer cord. I bet if he wastes any brain space on me, it's probably something like "How come she's so mean sometimes? But she gave me gum...Is she really mean or nice?"
Okay, so it definietly wouldn't sound like that. But that would basically be his thoughts. Yes, I usually smile at him when possible and other stuffs like that, but I've also not only kicked him in the shins but insulted him a little (in a teasing manner) and told him he was annoying me (although I took that back later).
So basically, it sounds like I should be able to get up the courage to tell him I like him in one month, minimum. Probably longer. And it's really nice to have a small school because he knows who I am and all my friends and it doesn't seem too weird for me to hang out at his table occasionally because I have two friends over there. However, there's one problem...
HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
This doesn't matter to me as much as it should. It wouldn't bother me to tell him I like him before he and his girlfriend break up (and I know they will, even though I've never seen her). After all, if I liked two guys and was going out with one, I wouldn't mind if the other one told him he liked me. I'd tell him I was going out with the other dude and that I liked him, too, but I wasn't going to cheat or break up, at the moment.
Okay, if you waded through all that, then you should be up to date on my current overdramatic dilemma. I'll end up telling him sooner or later because I'd rather have him know and get it over with. At the same time, I want to put it off because
Hurray, eye contact three times in a row. I think that's good...or bad. Depending on your point of view.
What I was going to say was that I know that high school relationships don't last that long and I don't want to totally ruin it too soon. I know how hard it is to have an ex that you still care about and have to see him at school every day. I guess the song for that would be that one...oh what's it called...whatever. The chorus goes "What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you/What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay/I'm falling to pieces/Cuz when a heart breaks, it doesn't break even."
I guess the song from me toPrince Caspian would be "Boys With Girlfriends" by Meiko. If you have never listened to Meiko you'd better right now. I recommend not only the above song but also "Under My Bed".
I'm super sleepy now and trying to stay awake. I seriously could fall asleep if they'd let me. I mean, it's perfectly quiet enough. It's warm but with a nice cool draft from the air conditioner somewhere around here. And knowing that Prince Caspian and my friends are nearby makes me feel all safe and warm inside. Plus I'm tired.
I am remembering the fruit roll inside my backpack. I'm also hungry all of a sudden, but I know we
We aren't allowed to eat in here. Sorry. I was signing a card for Mr. H's birthday and when I started typing again I didn't feel like just starting again from the same place.
Whatever...this is going to be like my longest post. I have nothing to do in here now that she's taken away my music and my food and my friends are all the way across the room and we aren't allowed to talk anyway. I could glance at Prince Caspian, but I don't wanna stare cuz that's creepy and anyways he probably doesn't give a shit. So back to where I started...I have NOTHING to do.
Oh yeah...homework.
Oh, we're playing a game in Bio. Brb to tell you about what's up!
Well it turns out I didn't get a chance to come back to this until after lunch and journalism, in advisory, where I am now. The bio game lasted until the bell and then I had to take a math test and then I was eating lunch and retrieving cake and other stuff, and then I had to go to journalism where we had a fun and constructive class all period and so now I'm sitting in advisory all by myself and I have nothing to do except homework.
So my slap shot still sucks like crap, but my stickhandling is tons better and I'm very good at skating. I've actually been getting a lot of compliments on it. My wrist shot is slowly improving after a quick jump, which is beginning to be disheartening. I'm a pretty good hitter, too.
As far as homework, it's not real fun but I'm starting to get the hang of just doing it. I failed a couple of binder challenges, but it's okay because I'll make up for them.
My art is okay. I haven't drawn for a while but I haven't gotten too much worse than I used to be so I think I'm still on track.
My mom and I keep forgetting to do the guitar lessons so I'm just going to end up teaching myself one of these days. I'm getting a lot better at making creative jewelry, and I think my photography skills will improve if I can get my hands on a camera for journalism. Then again, that might not be likely because the last time I tried that, I ended up forgetting and she gave it to someone else. But for the Fine Arts Day at our local college, I think I've got a pretty good chance because I'm one of the few people from the journalism class who are actually going to that.
I'm super bored. The teacher in charge of advisory, Ms. S, is super mean today and usually. She's a pretty good history teacher and almost makes it seem funny, but it's messed up because outside of class she's pretty much just mean. Then again, it's how I would probably end up if I ever became a teacher.
And now she took away the music I had on my laptop. I can hear Dawson laughing and telling someone "Ssh in a very quiet whisper. I wish I could see Prince Caspian right now, but I think he's somewhere behind me. He's on the other side of the teacher, so even if he did want to look at me casually he wouldn't be able to...Oh hurray he walked past and happened to look in my direction while smiling! I can pretend he was smiling at me!
I might as well just talk about him anyway because the only people who read this blog already know about him. He's cute in a major way. He's got long curly dark hair and...and I'm just going to start talking about how good-looking he is, so never mind. That's not the only reason I like him. He's also kind of friendly, but he's shy. He's a little bit of a mystery because he hangs out with people from both the social, more popular guy group, and other kids who barely talk. And we're pretty sure that his family is sort of rich, but he doesn't go on the computer hardly at all except for this laptop. Doesn't have an email, doesn't have a myspace or a blog. Poor kid. Technology is awesome.
I can't think of much else to say...I'm lamenting about kicking him in the shin just because he stood on my computer cord. I bet if he wastes any brain space on me, it's probably something like "How come she's so mean sometimes? But she gave me gum...Is she really mean or nice?"
Okay, so it definietly wouldn't sound like that. But that would basically be his thoughts. Yes, I usually smile at him when possible and other stuffs like that, but I've also not only kicked him in the shins but insulted him a little (in a teasing manner) and told him he was annoying me (although I took that back later).
So basically, it sounds like I should be able to get up the courage to tell him I like him in one month, minimum. Probably longer. And it's really nice to have a small school because he knows who I am and all my friends and it doesn't seem too weird for me to hang out at his table occasionally because I have two friends over there. However, there's one problem...
HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
This doesn't matter to me as much as it should. It wouldn't bother me to tell him I like him before he and his girlfriend break up (and I know they will, even though I've never seen her). After all, if I liked two guys and was going out with one, I wouldn't mind if the other one told him he liked me. I'd tell him I was going out with the other dude and that I liked him, too, but I wasn't going to cheat or break up, at the moment.
Okay, if you waded through all that, then you should be up to date on my current overdramatic dilemma. I'll end up telling him sooner or later because I'd rather have him know and get it over with. At the same time, I want to put it off because
Hurray, eye contact three times in a row. I think that's good...or bad. Depending on your point of view.
What I was going to say was that I know that high school relationships don't last that long and I don't want to totally ruin it too soon. I know how hard it is to have an ex that you still care about and have to see him at school every day. I guess the song for that would be that one...oh what's it called...whatever. The chorus goes "What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you/What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay/I'm falling to pieces/Cuz when a heart breaks, it doesn't break even."
I guess the song from me toPrince Caspian would be "Boys With Girlfriends" by Meiko. If you have never listened to Meiko you'd better right now. I recommend not only the above song but also "Under My Bed".
I'm super sleepy now and trying to stay awake. I seriously could fall asleep if they'd let me. I mean, it's perfectly quiet enough. It's warm but with a nice cool draft from the air conditioner somewhere around here. And knowing that Prince Caspian and my friends are nearby makes me feel all safe and warm inside. Plus I'm tired.
I am remembering the fruit roll inside my backpack. I'm also hungry all of a sudden, but I know we
We aren't allowed to eat in here. Sorry. I was signing a card for Mr. H's birthday and when I started typing again I didn't feel like just starting again from the same place.
Whatever...this is going to be like my longest post. I have nothing to do in here now that she's taken away my music and my food and my friends are all the way across the room and we aren't allowed to talk anyway. I could glance at Prince Caspian, but I don't wanna stare cuz that's creepy and anyways he probably doesn't give a shit. So back to where I started...I have NOTHING to do.
Oh yeah...homework.
fdddfdsdfjdssdlfksjdlkasjdglkjasdgflkjdsg(aka Random Letters)
I'm almost messing up my life again. No, I take that back. I AM messing up my life again. But it's okay this time because it's totally worth it.
Our team is having a potluck and stuff this weekend since we don't have games. That should be a lot of fun because we're going to this pumpkin patch afterwards. I'm going to have a very busy weekend, what with that, the movies with my friends, and a study group with also some friends. And then on Sunday I have some hockey stuff and some homework to do.
I don't go to church, but you can't exactly say I'm not religious because I do believe in God. I'm not sure about Jesus. I believe he existed and that he changed the world, but I'm not sure if he was really God's son or was just really blessed and favored by him. And I'm not even going to get into the stuff involving Easter.
There's a kid on my team who says that if God existed, he would've left a long time ago because we are so depressing. He's not really sure about life after death. The rest of the team was just wondering why he didn't want to pray in one big group (I just didn't want to be that close to those guys) and then we got into this whole discussion where we tried to imagine nothing. Eventually someone came up with the idea that nothing was clear, but I shot that down because, as I said, "In order to know it's clear, you have to see something through it."
But I was pretty relieved because I didn't want anyone to give him a bunch of shit about not believing in God. It's his choice.
I kind of think that there is no true religion but the one in your heart, because it's the only one you will ever truly know. Everyone else has their own opinions about their God and each of them treats him a little differently. Just like every one of us is unique, so is our opinion about religion. It's just that some branches of religion have similar aspects. So for those people who are so deeply into their religion that they say "there is no true religion other than ours, and you all are following the wrong thing" they are blinded. They can't see any view other than their own, and it will affect their lives.
It does affect our lives. Muslim culture and Western culture are colliding in our world, and it is a result of hatred that leads us to believe that we, and only we, are right. Our way of living is the true way and the good way. Their way of living is bad, and we must stop it. This kind of thinking on both sides leads to hatred. We will be caught up in the hatred until we don't even remember its source, and then it will be too late because we will be fighting ourselves to our own ends. It will consume us and destroy us, and it is something that we have created.
Whoa, I didn't mean to get that political. But that's how I see the world.
Our team is having a potluck and stuff this weekend since we don't have games. That should be a lot of fun because we're going to this pumpkin patch afterwards. I'm going to have a very busy weekend, what with that, the movies with my friends, and a study group with also some friends. And then on Sunday I have some hockey stuff and some homework to do.
I don't go to church, but you can't exactly say I'm not religious because I do believe in God. I'm not sure about Jesus. I believe he existed and that he changed the world, but I'm not sure if he was really God's son or was just really blessed and favored by him. And I'm not even going to get into the stuff involving Easter.
There's a kid on my team who says that if God existed, he would've left a long time ago because we are so depressing. He's not really sure about life after death. The rest of the team was just wondering why he didn't want to pray in one big group (I just didn't want to be that close to those guys) and then we got into this whole discussion where we tried to imagine nothing. Eventually someone came up with the idea that nothing was clear, but I shot that down because, as I said, "In order to know it's clear, you have to see something through it."
But I was pretty relieved because I didn't want anyone to give him a bunch of shit about not believing in God. It's his choice.
I kind of think that there is no true religion but the one in your heart, because it's the only one you will ever truly know. Everyone else has their own opinions about their God and each of them treats him a little differently. Just like every one of us is unique, so is our opinion about religion. It's just that some branches of religion have similar aspects. So for those people who are so deeply into their religion that they say "there is no true religion other than ours, and you all are following the wrong thing" they are blinded. They can't see any view other than their own, and it will affect their lives.
It does affect our lives. Muslim culture and Western culture are colliding in our world, and it is a result of hatred that leads us to believe that we, and only we, are right. Our way of living is the true way and the good way. Their way of living is bad, and we must stop it. This kind of thinking on both sides leads to hatred. We will be caught up in the hatred until we don't even remember its source, and then it will be too late because we will be fighting ourselves to our own ends. It will consume us and destroy us, and it is something that we have created.
Whoa, I didn't mean to get that political. But that's how I see the world.
10.15.2009
Princes and Other Fairy Tales
Well, that sucks.
I gave in and mentioned something...I'm thinking it won't be too long until the end.
On the bright side, there would be a remote chance of improving my life in the distant future. But then it would be un-improved again.
Oh well. I'll take the chance if it comes. I can't pretend I'm not willing to push and shove to get there.
Please don't act like you understand this post, because I know you don't and you're lying. Well, okay, Angie might get it...but only partially. Because there's another part. And the other part involves my further extreme stupidity in...let's see...5 different areas that are all in the same field, if you take my meaning. If you don't...at least you're honest about it.
Oh yeah, our group has to do our presentation on art soon. It should be fun. I'm going to try and make it more interesting for the class, although I think they'll enjoy it more than music anyway because Seewah is taking that dictator thing way too far, threatening to make the test difficult if we don't shut up and pay attention. Anyone who plays music understands it already, and anyone who doesn't, won't just because of a friggin PowerPoint.
Math presentation comes after music and before art. I think the class is gonna hate them too.
And I am currently in bio, dreading the math test I have to finish and wondering if a certain prince will show up at a certain location on the second floor during that time...I think I'll go check if I have time. I still have to finish that journalism article, too, and the speech is coming up. Yuck.
And I don't have any games this weekend, but I'm going to see a movie with some old and current friends, and I'm going to meet up with my art group at some point. Feh.
Argh I'm beginning to be in a bad mood and we're gonna play some game in bio anyways so I might as well stop.
Talk to u later...IF I feel like it.
I gave in and mentioned something...I'm thinking it won't be too long until the end.
On the bright side, there would be a remote chance of improving my life in the distant future. But then it would be un-improved again.
Oh well. I'll take the chance if it comes. I can't pretend I'm not willing to push and shove to get there.
Please don't act like you understand this post, because I know you don't and you're lying. Well, okay, Angie might get it...but only partially. Because there's another part. And the other part involves my further extreme stupidity in...let's see...5 different areas that are all in the same field, if you take my meaning. If you don't...at least you're honest about it.
Oh yeah, our group has to do our presentation on art soon. It should be fun. I'm going to try and make it more interesting for the class, although I think they'll enjoy it more than music anyway because Seewah is taking that dictator thing way too far, threatening to make the test difficult if we don't shut up and pay attention. Anyone who plays music understands it already, and anyone who doesn't, won't just because of a friggin PowerPoint.
Math presentation comes after music and before art. I think the class is gonna hate them too.
And I am currently in bio, dreading the math test I have to finish and wondering if a certain prince will show up at a certain location on the second floor during that time...I think I'll go check if I have time. I still have to finish that journalism article, too, and the speech is coming up. Yuck.
And I don't have any games this weekend, but I'm going to see a movie with some old and current friends, and I'm going to meet up with my art group at some point. Feh.
Argh I'm beginning to be in a bad mood and we're gonna play some game in bio anyways so I might as well stop.
Talk to u later...IF I feel like it.
10.13.2009
A Little Bitty Mistake
Wauggh.,
I are super idiot.
And not just cuz I got a friggin 87% on my most recent math quiz. I don't know if you people are following my tragic life on twitter, but I'm explaining a lot more things on there. And it SUCKS.
Why can't I stop thinking about penguins? Specifically, this one penguin that I shouldn't even care about.
Anyways, like ten million tree branches are gone already, lying in the street dying and soaked. I know how they feel. My feet are cold, and that has nothing to do with teh ice cream sammie I'm eating. XD jealous aren't u? I would be too if I wasn't the person eating it.
And my sister owes me 2 dollars.
Darn, I want lightning.
Tweeterhead
I'm now addicted to Twitter along with sugar, hockey, and crushes.
I can totally see why the whole world loves it. I love it. It's awesome. Anyone who is interested in our hockey team, read my latest twits. And yes, I'm messing up the vocabuslangularly on purpose. I twit and therefore I am a tweeter. The end.
It's too bad it's blocked on the school's internet. But the good news is I was able to get onto my neighbor's internet without their knowledge (hopefully). I chatted with my friends and twitted and ate sugar packets. MmmMMMMmMmmMmMmmm!!!! And also I had two ice cream sammies, one stolen and one given to me with a scoop of coffee flavored ice cream. The stolen one tasted just as good despite what they say.
I'm in bio. I think I'm making a huge mistake over these two guys at my school. Maybe just over guys in general. I should give up in some areas. Cut my losses. But I take things too seriously, so of course I can't let go.
Blehh. Focking penguins.
I can totally see why the whole world loves it. I love it. It's awesome. Anyone who is interested in our hockey team, read my latest twits. And yes, I'm messing up the vocabuslangularly on purpose. I twit and therefore I am a tweeter. The end.
It's too bad it's blocked on the school's internet. But the good news is I was able to get onto my neighbor's internet without their knowledge (hopefully). I chatted with my friends and twitted and ate sugar packets. MmmMMMMmMmmMmMmmm!!!! And also I had two ice cream sammies, one stolen and one given to me with a scoop of coffee flavored ice cream. The stolen one tasted just as good despite what they say.
I'm in bio. I think I'm making a huge mistake over these two guys at my school. Maybe just over guys in general. I should give up in some areas. Cut my losses. But I take things too seriously, so of course I can't let go.
Blehh. Focking penguins.
10.12.2009
A Real Live Myth
So in preparation for reading the Odyssey, we are all researching a Greek character or object.
It's so weird because it's so quiet. I hate quiet. Quiet fills in everything a little too much, and leaves me alone with my own thoughts.
The only sounds are the rustling of paper and the clacking of keys. I hate that. I need noise, music, something. Oh, thank you. Someone in the second row was using whiteout and had to shake it. Someone else just coughed. But I don't like the silence because there's too much else to fill in the empty spaces.
Whisper, click, murmur, rustle, sigh, hum, creak, shuffle, flip, clack, and now the vroom of a diesel engine in the street below. As long as I can concentrate on each little noise, the silence won't seem so loud. But still, penguins keep just randomly popping into my head.
And the harder I try to not think about them, it keeps happening. I'm going to scream. I'm being such a bitch today. I already broke my pencil and insulted everyone in my group at least once. That's one thing that I'm good at.
Drew is happy, Alec is high, and I'm cruel. Taylor screwed everything up again. My world was warped. It's like a shock wave. Every time Taylor shows up in my life, everything else is damaged, too.
Oh, and I'm writing a new story.
It's so weird because it's so quiet. I hate quiet. Quiet fills in everything a little too much, and leaves me alone with my own thoughts.
The only sounds are the rustling of paper and the clacking of keys. I hate that. I need noise, music, something. Oh, thank you. Someone in the second row was using whiteout and had to shake it. Someone else just coughed. But I don't like the silence because there's too much else to fill in the empty spaces.
Whisper, click, murmur, rustle, sigh, hum, creak, shuffle, flip, clack, and now the vroom of a diesel engine in the street below. As long as I can concentrate on each little noise, the silence won't seem so loud. But still, penguins keep just randomly popping into my head.
And the harder I try to not think about them, it keeps happening. I'm going to scream. I'm being such a bitch today. I already broke my pencil and insulted everyone in my group at least once. That's one thing that I'm good at.
Drew is happy, Alec is high, and I'm cruel. Taylor screwed everything up again. My world was warped. It's like a shock wave. Every time Taylor shows up in my life, everything else is damaged, too.
Oh, and I'm writing a new story.
10.09.2009
Dates, Prunes, Etc.
Well, crap. I totally hate having to remember dates for history. I didn't remember what year the Estates-General were called in, so I thought it was later and therefore made the mistake of assuming that it was the National Assembly. Also, the word reform threw me off because I know nobles didn't want to talk about that.
But overall that was the only one I missed and I'm reasonably confident about the essay questions. So yay!!!
I also hate prunes. Prune juice especially. I nearly threw up from that one time when I was a little kid and my parents fed it to me.
Yuck.
But overall that was the only one I missed and I'm reasonably confident about the essay questions. So yay!!!
I also hate prunes. Prune juice especially. I nearly threw up from that one time when I was a little kid and my parents fed it to me.
Yuck.
10.08.2009
Pain, Part 1
I read the first part of Odd Becca's post, since we can't read the whole thing at school.
I saw my grandmother go through chemo, and her sickness turned her into a bitter, cynical, and critical shadow of the babysitting, wildflower-loving person she once was. She lost her hair and too much weight, and she was always complaining about the cold, even though she refused the heater that we offered her.
"The days are getting shorter," my mom would comment, and my grandmother would reply, "Yes, it's going to be dark and gloomy more often from now on." Either that, or she'd ignore her completely, shuffling back into her room with another sweater from the boxes that filled out house and our storage shed.
But Ally isn't some introverted old woman who used to smoke and drink too much and hated men since her divorce. She's a teenager, a high school girl. She should be here, at our school, with us, complaining about the history test and finishing up her homework over lunch. She shouldn't be stuck in a cold hospital, awaiting her chemotherapy and the good or bad news.
I can't visit her today, or tomorrow, but I'm planning on it. If I have a game in the same city, I'll stop by to see her before I play. Maybe Odd Becca and Seewah-chan can come, too.
For now, I'll give her a plushie wolf.
I saw my grandmother go through chemo, and her sickness turned her into a bitter, cynical, and critical shadow of the babysitting, wildflower-loving person she once was. She lost her hair and too much weight, and she was always complaining about the cold, even though she refused the heater that we offered her.
"The days are getting shorter," my mom would comment, and my grandmother would reply, "Yes, it's going to be dark and gloomy more often from now on." Either that, or she'd ignore her completely, shuffling back into her room with another sweater from the boxes that filled out house and our storage shed.
But Ally isn't some introverted old woman who used to smoke and drink too much and hated men since her divorce. She's a teenager, a high school girl. She should be here, at our school, with us, complaining about the history test and finishing up her homework over lunch. She shouldn't be stuck in a cold hospital, awaiting her chemotherapy and the good or bad news.
I can't visit her today, or tomorrow, but I'm planning on it. If I have a game in the same city, I'll stop by to see her before I play. Maybe Odd Becca and Seewah-chan can come, too.
For now, I'll give her a plushie wolf.
Tweety Bird Who Hates Twitter
Damn. I accidentally pressed the wrong key, and everything I'd written disappeared. All I was trying to do was to make a little smily face like this :D
But I went to another page and I think I added this page as a favorite in the process.
Anyway, what I was trying to say was that I didn't finish the notes, but it didn't matter because we just took Cornell notes on the PowerPoint, which I think are much less annoying than the other notes because they aren't just filling out some form and they are more helpful because they help me get my AVID grade up. I've gotten too many Fs in AVID, so right now I think I have a B. That's my worst grade.
We are starting tutorials in AVID. The two grades I need to get up to A's, besides AVID, are biology and algebra 2. So I guess I'll be asking a lot of math questions, because the only reason that I don't have an A in bio is because he gave us an unfair quiz at the beginning of the year.
After this is over, I have lunch, which should be fun because my mom went grocery shopping recently and got some fresh foodies. :D
But on the other hand, I have to finish my article for journalism and I really really hope that M. C. is here because I'm gonna ask her. I don't have many friends that aren't in journalism or acting like assholes.
And then our computer science class gets to be pulled out of journalism so we can take a fun trip to the planetarium at the college campus.
And after that, I get to go home, relax, do homework, and do some dryland before practice.
Yay.
But I went to another page and I think I added this page as a favorite in the process.
Anyway, what I was trying to say was that I didn't finish the notes, but it didn't matter because we just took Cornell notes on the PowerPoint, which I think are much less annoying than the other notes because they aren't just filling out some form and they are more helpful because they help me get my AVID grade up. I've gotten too many Fs in AVID, so right now I think I have a B. That's my worst grade.
We are starting tutorials in AVID. The two grades I need to get up to A's, besides AVID, are biology and algebra 2. So I guess I'll be asking a lot of math questions, because the only reason that I don't have an A in bio is because he gave us an unfair quiz at the beginning of the year.
After this is over, I have lunch, which should be fun because my mom went grocery shopping recently and got some fresh foodies. :D
But on the other hand, I have to finish my article for journalism and I really really hope that M. C. is here because I'm gonna ask her. I don't have many friends that aren't in journalism or acting like assholes.
And then our computer science class gets to be pulled out of journalism so we can take a fun trip to the planetarium at the college campus.
And after that, I get to go home, relax, do homework, and do some dryland before practice.
Yay.
Happy Boringness
I'm supposed to be filling out my PowerNotes in biology, but I'm super bored. Less than half of us passed the quiz...and I was one of the half that did. Hurray, I hate it here. I'm hungry but I can't get my food, and I can't start doing the notes now that I've been ignoring them for so long, but I really hope he's not going to make us do something with them so maybe I oughta fill them out anyway. Useless things :p
10.07.2009
Forgetful Reminder
Oh yeah, so in other news we took our first field trip as a school to another town to see West Side Story and we all wore school T-shirts and I think Maria should have died and this classroom is too loud and I better do my assignment and one of our classmates has cancer so we've been doing this video to cheer her up while she's in the hospital and I got an A in the college speech class and the manga/anime club is going strong and I'm going to end this post now.
[RUN ON SENTENCE]
[RUN ON SENTENCE]
A Detailed Summary
So a lot has happened since I last blogged. We had this project for history, in which we made a storybook about the French Revolution. I unwittingly volunteered for not only the illustrations and two of the six topics, but I was also the one to revise it and lay it out in the latest Microsoft Word (subliminal advertising, anyone?) and print it, as well as add the things we left out. So I was pretty damn busy. But it was completely worth it because I got an A.
I've decided to teach myself to play guitar using a book I got for my birthday and just recently unearthed. My room is sort of a work in progress.
I have to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed, which is going to be a royal pain in the gums. Since two of them are already inbounded or whatever the correct term is, then they may have to knock me out and treat it like a surgery. The worst part is that my dad's dental insurance and health care plan does not cover it, so now it's pretty definite that we won't get to take that trip to Denver to see the U.S. Women's Hockey team. I didn't think we really would anyway, but it was a nice idea while it lasted.
But the Halloween party is still on, and somehow the guest list has expanded. My ideas are being refined and for the most part accepted.
My drawings are getting better. I was able to draw using a different style, although I haven't found another good way to draw eyes or noses, so basically I just changed the hair and neck/shoudler anatomy.
We beat the local girls' team, 8-1. One kid, or maybe two, got a hat trick. I didn't score. I was partly close. And I got a new stick, although I had to pay for 1/3 of it. I think it'll be worth it. It's an adult stick that was cut down to my size, only it's a little too big so I can grow into it. Practice is going pretty good. I can actually give my teammates some advice, especially about their skating, and even more parents are complementing me now.
School is as hard as ever, but now I'm getting used to staying up late every night, finishing most of my homework, and scraping by in class. And I get up pretty early compared with last year. Then I sleep in on weekends and go to games, practices, and public sessions.
I'm getting the hang of an academically and physically challenging life with not much social input. I'm going to get serious about dryland to be an example to my team (I can do more pushups than some of the guys) which might give me an edge over the competition for various things that I want to happen. I'm eating better and overall my life is better.
Yeah, my life isn't so bad. Although my love life does rather suck. One person that I can't forget might come back, while I gave up on two others, one of whom also is returning little by little. There is one problem that I'm working on, and one that I don't want to acknowledge. Then there is one consistent pull in two different directions.
It's complicated. But it works.
I have to go to read my assignment for speech class, so I'll try to wrap this up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, my life hasn't improved much. But my outlook has.
And I can deal. I will, a little at a time, get used to life.
I've decided to teach myself to play guitar using a book I got for my birthday and just recently unearthed. My room is sort of a work in progress.
I have to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed, which is going to be a royal pain in the gums. Since two of them are already inbounded or whatever the correct term is, then they may have to knock me out and treat it like a surgery. The worst part is that my dad's dental insurance and health care plan does not cover it, so now it's pretty definite that we won't get to take that trip to Denver to see the U.S. Women's Hockey team. I didn't think we really would anyway, but it was a nice idea while it lasted.
But the Halloween party is still on, and somehow the guest list has expanded. My ideas are being refined and for the most part accepted.
My drawings are getting better. I was able to draw using a different style, although I haven't found another good way to draw eyes or noses, so basically I just changed the hair and neck/shoudler anatomy.
We beat the local girls' team, 8-1. One kid, or maybe two, got a hat trick. I didn't score. I was partly close. And I got a new stick, although I had to pay for 1/3 of it. I think it'll be worth it. It's an adult stick that was cut down to my size, only it's a little too big so I can grow into it. Practice is going pretty good. I can actually give my teammates some advice, especially about their skating, and even more parents are complementing me now.
School is as hard as ever, but now I'm getting used to staying up late every night, finishing most of my homework, and scraping by in class. And I get up pretty early compared with last year. Then I sleep in on weekends and go to games, practices, and public sessions.
I'm getting the hang of an academically and physically challenging life with not much social input. I'm going to get serious about dryland to be an example to my team (I can do more pushups than some of the guys) which might give me an edge over the competition for various things that I want to happen. I'm eating better and overall my life is better.
Yeah, my life isn't so bad. Although my love life does rather suck. One person that I can't forget might come back, while I gave up on two others, one of whom also is returning little by little. There is one problem that I'm working on, and one that I don't want to acknowledge. Then there is one consistent pull in two different directions.
It's complicated. But it works.
I have to go to read my assignment for speech class, so I'll try to wrap this up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, my life hasn't improved much. But my outlook has.
And I can deal. I will, a little at a time, get used to life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)